Mafia Gazette Past Issue 117
The Mafia Gazette Issue 117 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Tuesday 2nd January 'VIOLENCE ERUPTS IN LA ' By Gazette Reporter The comfortable silence of peace was shattered tonight in an eruption of gunfire on the West coast. The fracas is believed to have been started when Beretta, a Los Angeles Street Boss, shot dead ASDA Made Man Seeker. The death is rumoured to have sparked fury from the ASDA ranks, with Rossi, Ronin, and Bertone all joining in attacking Beretta in revenge. He eventually fell to one of Rossi’s bodyguards, after a battle lasting some time involving himself and Bertone. It is claimed that Bertone mysteriously disappeared during the gunfight, with eyewitnesses describing him as “vanishing into thin air”. Rumours of foul play by Bertone are as yet unconfirmed by the authorities. The violence quickly took an unexpected turn when Gazette Editor and neutral party John Milton was attacked by Rossi, seemingly without cause. Spokespeople from the ASDA camp claim Rossi never shot first, but overwhelming evidence and common sense appears to say otherwise. Mr. Milton was cagey about the incident, due to ongoing talks with other ASDA members about a resolution to the conflict, despite Bertone’s overly aggressive responses to Milton’s enquiries. Several eyewitnesses on IRC Avenue claimed to hear Bertone call Milton a liar, and accuse him of faking evidence, whilst continuing to change his own story. It is thought that Rossi at first claimed not to have a gun, though insiders report that Milton kidnapped and cleaned out the ASDA Gangster, finding a gun and three bullets. With the ASDA story full of holes and inconsistencies, this reporter wonders if it is only a matter of time before they start to attack non-neutral parties, in particular their old enemies The Conceptualists out in the East. More on this story as it develops. 'STORYTELLERS CORNER STREETS MARKET ' By Zinglebert Humptyback In a recent surge of unemployment, there have been more and more people turning to telling street stories to earn their crust. While this particular annoyance seems to yield no actual dollar income, it is believed that the speakers think they are raising their profile with the Godfathers, to aid their ascent of the criminal ladder. Insider reports suggest they are mistaken, and that they are merely annoying those people that try and use the streets to say something interesting, or important. Either way, I can remember a time when street stories were entertaining, and not as common, which generally lead to people joining in and finishing off the story. Now, people walk by the storymen and ignore them, like they would a tramp begging for change. With more of these individuals arriving on a daily basis, will we literally have a story on ever corner soon? 'AMMO MAN STILL EVADES POLICE ' By John Milton To follow on from a previous Gazette story, the serial killer known only as “The Ammo Man” has continued to evade Police, and still strikes daily. Mafia families and civilians alike seem to fall pray to this monster, with his promises of cheap ammunition and guns to lure the unsuspecting victims to their eventual doom. Whilst Police continue to investigate, many are not putting much faith in their efforts, calling for the Chief of Police to assign a new team to take up the fight. The Police had no comment to make on this story, yet apparently are remaining open to witness statements and any further clues to this mass-murderers identity. We’ll bring you more as it happens. 'JAMESON OFFICIALLY PRONOUNCED ' By John Milton Officials in the case of missing New York Made Man Jameson officially pronounced him missing, presumed dead today. This comes just months after the case of Bugsy_Siegel, ASDA high-ranker who went missing in similar circumstances. Police and the men’s families alike are baffled as to their disappearances, though it is believed the two are not linked. The men took nothing with them, and simply appeared to vanish in their sleep. Concerns that they may have been killed by the authorities in some sort of cover-up were dismissed by both the authorities themselves, and close friends of the pair. It is believed they may have been lost at sea in some bizarre double-boating accident, as both were keen sailors. Another striking similarity is the crew both used, many of the sailors appeared to have sailed with both of the missing men, harbour master Thisbe had this to say: “Yeah, I’ve seen them many a time, Bugsy and Jameson both swapped seamen on a regular basis.” It is doubtful now that the pair will ever be found, though families of both are looking for an end to this terrible situation. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' By John Milton Staff wanted! The Mafia Gazette is still looking for both regular columnists and one-off articles. Got a juicy bit of info? Drop me a line, if it makes it into a story there could be money in it for you. The news doesn’t tell itself, we need to support of good writers and good sources of information. Contact John Milton for further info.